Friday, January 02, 2009

Thursday 16 October 2008

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZC-PdkD6FQ





23:00
I was in high school when the troubles began. I always thought things would be as they were for my parents and my grandparents. It is so unfair that everything I thought and knew would be there would fall apart just as my turn was to come to enjoy life. All I ever wanted was to live normally. I guess it was too much to ask. I know nothing of nuclear bombs or of the NWA or of dead politicians or of the ruins of Washington. I've never been there. I can't even tell you who the President is now. All I know is I said goodbye to my Aunt yesterday in Emeryville, and now, I am sitting here in this grim coach seat, with my heart racing, and my face feeling like it's on fire. I want to run, but I can't, there is a soldier stationed at each end of the coach, and I can see more outside. I think they are US soldiers, at least their uniforms look US. They have the American flag patches on their sleeves. That's the problem with this damn war, you can't even tell what side anybody is on anymore. For all I know they could be NATO, or NWA, or National Guard, or who know's what. All I know is that I just heard a shot and a scream and now some crying. This train has been moving slow since the mountains, and now it's stopped. We were told soldiers never boarder Railpax, and that we would be safe, now here it is, we are stopped, boarded by soldiers and obviously there has been some violence. I think they will come for me next. God, I know it's a cliche, but it's true, I'm too young to die. I'm so angry now. The railpax people and thier ads, saying its safe to travel. My parents, for writing that letter telling me that they want me to come back to AUS. My aunt and uncle for not warning me. Hell, they probably wanted me to leave, they couldn't afford to keep me there, with all the shortages and terrorism and everything. So here I sit, in this cheap shabby coach, with my life flashing before my eyes.... yes that does happen. I'm seeing all the events of recent years and my loved ones intermingling with each other. I can't believe it. I fucking can't believe it. Where are we anyway? Let me think... well I think we are just outside of Reno Nevada, or at least what's left of Reno. In normal times, my parents, my sister and I shared one last vacation on this very route back when they still called it Amtrak. We passed through this area and I sort of remember it, though not like this. I saw a sign at the station that sort of said Reno, but it had a line spray painted through it and under it was written Gomorrah. I don't even know what that means. I think it's biblical or something. God I hate these religious freaks who are wrecking our country. I hate the political liars who deny that there is even a war going on. I'm glad a bunch of them got smoked in that bomb blast. God, that was surreal wasn't it? I was watching tv that day. I can't remember what it was really. I was in KC at home. I know Congress and all the leaders were in Washington talking about the war in Syria, and how we were to try to get our troops home. I couldn't beleive then that the bastards got the bomb, and used it on US! I was trying to change the channels. The news was depressing. It was on every channel it seemed. Suddenly, I realized half the channels I was trying to change it to were not there. Then something strange happened. Something I had never seen before, except once when that tornado came through. The emergency alert system sprouted up on every channel-- everywhere. I got scared. Not as scared as I am now, but close. It was an end of the world kind of scared. I thought that I was the only one left in the world at that moment. It was a real lonely feeling. All I could hear was that tone and a robo voice saying "this is not a test, there has been an emergency in your area, please stay tuned for more information." The information seemed to never come. I changed the channels, and the same thing. Then eerily I changed it to the Travel Channel, it was something about a cruise ship. Then to Food Network, some chef was on a cooking program. Phew, everything was normal. I changed it to MTV, and then I saw it. I thought it was a video, but it was real -- a mushroom cloud. I thought, oh my GHOD! IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD! The bastards did it, they pushed the button!
The door of the car slid open. Another soldier walked in. The one who had been guarding the door pointed at me. THis is it! This is the end of the world for me. The one who came through the door came straight to me. He had a black bar on his collar. He pointed his rifle at me and told me to stand up. My legs felt like rubber bands and my head felt like it was floating. I don't know why I did what he said. Then he asked me "red or blue?" I was confused, but that didn't last long as he cocked his rifle and pointed the barrel right at the bridge of my nose -- "Once more, red or blue?" I quickly realized I heard of this before. Now I know what's going on. I realize what that gushot was I had heard. I could smell it on the end of this barrel and I could feel it too -- the heat radiating from this gun. Some poor kid in the next coach, probably same age as me answered wrong, and now he is gone. I thought split second. History and geography has never been my subjects in school, but now I wish they were, because my life depends on the right answere. Lessee, I am obviously no longer in California and from what I know of what I've seen of what's left of Reno, people around here probably don't like sin that much which makes them religious and conservative, and conservative is blue... no wait, it's red, red that's it! I could see him squeezing the trigger and the people in the coach around me hiding their eyes. RED! I'm RED!!! I saw no reaction in the soldiers eyes. OH GHOD, I ANSWERED WRONG! I'M DEAD! LIFE IS SO UNFAIR. "Follow the seargent," he said, I complied not knowing who the seargent was. I just went to one of the soldiers who led me out of the coach and out to the cold outside. They are taking me outside to shoot me for sure I thought. Hold out your arms another soldier told me. I was confused. He screamed at me "like this you rainbow nimnut!" He forcefully guided my arms -- palms up, elbows bent. A short skinny guy in a prison striped outfit with a shaved head plunked clothes into my arms. They smelled of mothballs. Oh, God, it's worse than I thought, I'm being marched off to a concentration camp. What did I do to deserve this? I'm not Mexican or black. A soldier with a lot of stripes got in my face. "This is your first issue maggot!" "The pressing military situation has forced us to use the selective service system and your number has come up!" He said it so fast I could barely understand him. "You are now a private in the United States Army National Guard." Somebody interrupted him. It was the soldier with the bar on his collar. "Hold on sarge, He's not one yet." "Oh yeah," the seargent replied "we've got to make this legal." "Hold up your right hand." I did so with some difficulty as I had to hold the clothing they just gave me. The soldier with the strip told me to look at his sleeve. He showed it to me. It had an American flag sown on it and underneath it were three letters A.O.Z. The bar man said "this is your flag." Now, repeat after me....

"I, (NAME), do solemnly swear" and I replied I ... name... to which he yelled "don't be smart with me dumbass or I'll shoot you here, say your name!! I then started it again, but another soldier came up and said, sir, your forgetting the most important part. Bar soldier said, oh yeah, where is it? The other soldier handed him a book, it looked like a bible, but it was worn. "Put your left hand on this" said barman. I did, which was again, really hard to do and to keep my new outfit from dropping. I stuttered "I Justin Cale do solemnly swear..." Well, the rest of the oath went something like this.... "that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States and the State of Utah against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States" whoever he or she is... "and the Governor of Utah and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to law and regulations. So help me God."

Utah?

I must be in Utah.... Funny, I didn't think we traveled that far.

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